Without Press Tour, however, think of all the wrangling they’d have to do when major TV news implosions occur. Phones would be ringing off the hook. Reporters would be jockeying for position and screaming if they don’t get the story angles they want when they want it. Mass hysteria.

Tour is also something of a mixed blessing for TV writers. Entertainment business news is breaking all the time, but it certainly seems to go nuclear when most of us are brought together in a hotel ballroom. Often the news is very inside baseball, such as the sudden resignation of ABC Entertainment head Steve McPherson on the first day of Tour, followed shortly by trade reports that he was the subject of a sexual harrassment probe. Critics care because McPherson’s the guy we talk to about ABC’s lineup, and as such, some of us like to imagine we have something of a relationship with him.

So things of this nature happen, we express shock! (Not really.) Alarm! (Actually, executives get spectacularly booted all the time. Right, Ben Silverman?) Then we sharpen our knives for the network’s executive session. Sadly, the word is that ABC isn’t having one. (UPDATE: On Friday ABC announced that ABC Family’s Paul Lee had officially been named as McPherson’s successor, so there will be a short  session on Sunday after all.)

This news has very little impact on the typical viewer. As such, it was quickly swept under the rug when Fox’s (highly orchestrated?) “Idol” bombshell exploded late this afternoon in the form of a Variety story announcing Ellen DeGeneres‘ sudden and not altogether surprising exit, either by choice or by force. That, people care about.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves a bit.  “Idol” dominated the early evening news, but Showtime opened the day with four panels, three of them actually worth our time.

The day started with a tour of “The Big C,“  which stars Laura Linney and officially premieres August 16, although you can watch the pilot right now. In the half-hour dramedy, Linney plays a woman who receives a cancer diagnosis and decides to take what time she has left and live it to the fullest.

Whether the show becomes a hit depends largely on how much people are willing to spend time with a character who may be outlandish and hilarious, but is dying before their eyes.  It’s a tough sell. But there’s no denying the cast’s chemistry and the absolute luminosity of Laura Linney. The entire panel was something of an eat-pray-love fest as the stars talked about the beauty of living in the now. After Oliver Platt asked, “Why do we start to live beautifully when we get a death sentence?” and Gabourey Sidibe pointed out, “whatever plan you have for your life, you are wrong a lot of times,” it was hard not to commit for at least a few installments.

Once that panel’s high wore off, though, I remembered a vexing truth about Showtime comedies: they’re not particularly funny. “Comedy” seems to be a term the premium cable channel uses because it’s more succinct than “half-hour oddity,” or “30-minute award nomination bait.”

Happily we were reminded of that by watching the clip for “Episodes,” an upcoming comedy about a disastrous American remake of a nice British series.  The clip reel was genuinely hilarious, and what exchanges we saw between series star Matt LeBlanc and his British co-stars Tamsin Greig and Stephen Mangan were gut-busting.

Executive producers and writers David Crane (“Friends”) and Jeffrey Klarik (“The Class”) consistently made us giggle as they described the horrific sausage making process a series goes through as its churned through the Hollywood machine, which is precisely what “Episodes” is about. It’s a shame we have to suffer through a slew of substandard comedies this fall while we wait for it; “Episodes” premieres in January.

Keep reading for more details on “Dexter” and a breakdown of the CW panels.

Before “Episodes,” key cast and producers from “Dexter” took the stage and told us absolutely nothing about the numerous guest stars set to appear this season, a list that includes Julia Stiles, Shawn Hatosy, Peter Weller and Katherine Moennig. But what they did say is a) this season is about “atonement,” b) Julie Benz will be back in some capacity, but not as a ghost because Harry is the sole owner of that territory;  lastly,  c) Dexter’s fellow cops are getting very suspicious of him.

In short, Showtime continues to be worth the extra charge on our cable bills. With time, its series may get bigger ratings than some of their network counterparts…well, at least the ones on The CW.

This is not to imply the tiniest network is set for a middling fall. It’s premiering two new shows, and each stand a good chance of finding an audience.

“Nikita” has enjoyed positive buzz since critics received the pilot a few weeks ago, and Maggie Q’s friendliness pretty much completed the seduction. In fact, many were so charmed by Miss Quigley that they were able to forgive and forget the fact that series executive producer McG, who professed an affection for empowering female characters, was the man responsible for giving The Pussycat Dolls a TV show that lasted for two cycles.

This could have something to do with the fact that in the posters for “Nikita,” she’s holding a gun and wearing a tight bodysuit that shows off a tattoo on her hip. A real tattoo. That touched off about ten minutes of conversation about her tats and what they mean, which is what happens when a gorgeous model-slash-action-star gets a decent pilot nobody wants to bad mouth.

“Hellcats” also could be largely critic-proof because the pilot that looks and feels like a standard CW show, and should be helped along by the fact that it stars Ashley Tisdale, aka “High School Musical’s” Sharpay. Good fit is everything with this boutique network.

The main piece that everything else seems to hang off of is “Gossip Girl,” which opens the season with a two-episode Paris fling that pulls Clemence Poesy in for a guest star stint. Executive producer Stephanie Savage also said that Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) is returning, and we will be seeing more of her “in more ways than one.”

As we were settling into “Gossip” bliss, BAM! The “Idol” tweet went out.

So, as in life, Fox trumped The CW yet again…and that network’s turn isn’t until next week. However, “Idol” has a long tradition of giving gossipy gifts to Press Tour, and Fox publicists had hinted that several key announcements about the judges panel would be made on Monday.

As Day 2 came to a close, other “Idol” morsels leaked into the press, including the far from surprising report that Kara DioGuardi also got cut, and that the new panel would consist of Randy Jackson and…Jennifer Lopez? And Steven Tyler?

Follow IMDbTV on Twitter to get TCA news as it breaks.

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Jessica Lowndes, AnnaLynne McCord, and Jessica Stroup return in "90210."

The CW will not officially reveal its schedule until Thursday morning, which is when yours truly will be on a plane. Not to worry; the blog will be updated with the official schedule soon after it is released.  Besides, enough information has trickled into the trades for us to talk about a few important details and make some educated guesses as to where new series will land on the schedule. Or, we should say, the first version of its schedule, because almost every network tweaks its lineup once the upfronts come to a close.

Before we get to the new stuff, here’s a round-up of the current news: “One Tree Hill”  was officially picked up earlier this week, joining previously announced CW renewals “90210,” “Life Unexpected,” “The Vampire Diaries,” “Gossip Girl,” “America’s Next Top Model,” “Supernatural,” and “Smallville.” Additionally, the CW confirmed today that “Smallville’s” 10th season will be its last.

Gone from the schedule (thereby proving there is a Higher Power that cares for us all) are “Melrose Place,” “High Society,” “Fly Girls” and this season’s “here today, gone tomorrow” prizewinner, “The Beautiful Life: TBL,” which barely made it out of the gate. Their departure from the TV landscape will doubtless be mourned by…someone.

On the other hand, if they hadn’t been cleared away, The CW wouldn’t have any place to put its new additions, “Nikita” and “Hellcats.”

“Nikita” is a reboot of the franchise that began with Luc Besson’s (freaking awesome) cult action film “La Femme Nikita,” which was remade for American audiences as the awful “Point of No Return” starring Bridget Fonda.  The character of Nikita resurfaced in a Canadian-produced action drama that ran for about five seasons on USA Network, and was played by Peta Wilson. Maggie Q takes over the role in the new version, which also has her going rogue.

The first TV version of “La Femme Nikita,” it must be mentioned, was part of a late-’90s, early ’00s girl power trend on television that included “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Xena: Warrior Princess,”  and “Alias.” Considering that we live in a time in which Paris Hilton, the Kardashians and  “Girls Gone Wild” are celebrated pop culture fixtures, returning “Nikita” to TV is — in concept — a breath of fresh air.

On the other hand, it’s on The CW. If someone doesn’t screw it up, there’s still the question of whether it’ll pull the ratings to survive. With McG as an executive producer, there is hope.

“Nikita” is joined on the schedule by “Hellcats,” a drama about competitive cheerleading starring Aly Michalka and Ashley Tisdale. If “Nikita” is a nod to what The CW used to be (in its previous incarnations, UPN and the WB), “Hellcats” seems to fit in perfectly with what the tiny broadcast network is now.

Question is, where will they appear on the schedule? Currently there are two obvious opportunities, one on Wednesday nights, and one on Fridays, where “Smallville” has been able to hold on to its audience.   The CW’s schedulers have been known to slide veterans into different timeslots in the hope of finding a perfect pairing so really, it’s foolish to guess what the network’s lineup will look like. But why should that stop us?

Keep reading after the jump for our scheduling guesswork.

MONDAYS

The one-two punch of “Gossip Girl” and “One Tree Hill” seemed to work out just fine this season in spite of creative problems with the former’s story arc. “OTH” is a veteran whose audience has grown up and stuck with it, and the trend-setting “Gossip Girl” is now as acceptable among adults as it is with tween and teens. We doubt the network will mess with this.

TUESDAYS

Since “Life Unexpected” was a late addition to this season’s schedule, it’s highly possible that it will move to Wednesdays in order to team up “Hellcats” and “90210.”

WEDNESDAYS

On the other hand, if “Hellcats” is as bitchy as it sounds, coupling it with “America’s Next Top Model” wouldn’t be the worst idea.

Bloody lust is so sexy. Paul Wesley stars in "The Vampire Diaries."

THURSDAYS

Here’s where things get a bit dicey. “The Vampire Diaries” is this season’s clearest hit, not only among new shows but in the context of the schedule at large. It finally gave The CW a real presence on Thursday nights.  At the same time, it’s probably popular enough to take its audience with it if it were to move. The obvious destination for it would probably be Friday.

Please. Not going to happen.

“Supernatural” is another veteran series that paired beautifully with “Smallville” on Thursdays in season past. One should not be surprised if The CW decides to reunite old friends  — especially considering that the repeats of this past season’s episodes will air at 9 o’clock Fridays this summer. “Supernatural’s” audience probably won’t be too excited to see its show move to Fridays next fall, but they’re (we’re!) passionate, and most of them (us!) will follow.  That leaves 9 o’clock Thursdays open for “Nikita” to slide in,  and with potent “Vampire” as its lead-in, “Nikita” would have one of the best slots on the CW’s schedule.

FRIDAYS

On the flipside, “Smallville” fans could already be familiar with “Nikita’s” mythology, so the network could opt to create an end-of-the-week destination for action genre viewers.

Now it’s your turn.  Have any guesses as to how the deck will be shuffled?

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Zac Posen to model-in-waiting: "Wait...wait...never mind, show's over."

Oh Mischa Barton, we were so looking forward to seeing you on our TV screens again.  Just not in this tragedy.

The CW decided to spare us more episodes of “The Beautiful Life,” the Ashton Kutcher-produced series about models pursuing their big break. That makes “TBL” the first casualty of the 2009-2010 season, and makes me glad that I didn’t put money into an office pool.  Having seen Fox’s “Brothers,” which makes its hideous debut this evening,  I thought for sure that it would win that honor. But alas, “TBL” couldn’t even survive long enough for other U.S. viewers to make that discovery for themselves.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Wednesday night’s “TBL” episode, its second (and last), only attracted about 1 million viewers. Now, in seasons past, low opening numbers weren’t enough to make The CW cancel a show so early on…but Kutcher has nearly 3.7 million devoted followers on Twitter. Clearly the math was never going to add up. The announced pick-up of “Fly Girls,” the reality series following Virgin Air flight attendants, and a docu-soap following the life of celebutante Tinsley Mortimer,  didn’t help “TBL’s” situation either.

Besides, the network’s higher-ups appear to be throwing their mojo behind the “Melrose Place,” which is  struggling in the ratings as well.  But as of this week, the new “MP” hooked Heather Locklear for a guest star arc that starts November 17, in the midst of sweeps.

Other late-breaking news on Friday: Vincent D’Onofrio confirms that he’s leaving “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.”

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– Pauley Perrette is guest starring on the second episode of “NCIS: Los Angeles,” in a cameo that executive producer Shane Brennan characterized as being “directly involved in helping us solve the case. Pauley is very excited to be joining us, and I think it’s something that the fans are going to absolutely really enjoy.”

On a side note, Brennan delivered this news from the ground floor of the “NCIS: Los Angeles” set, built to resemble an old Spanish mission but, to TV viewers, looks all too much like the courtyard on “Melrose Place.”

Brennan explained that since the original ops center was compromised (in part 2 of the “NCIS” crossover episodes)  they had to find another undercover location. So from the outside it looks like a charming piece of old California, but inside and upstairs is state-of-the-art equipment specially built for the unit (and actually, the series itself) by technology giant Lockheed Martin. This includes a gigantic touch-interactive screen that critics were allowed to play with by waving are hands across it and pretending we were in Minority Report. We discovered fake identification for one character in an upcoming episode, to be played by former “Six Feet Under” star Mathew St. Patrick.

– On the same day we visited “NCIS: LA” we headed over to the Fox lot to see Joss Whedon in the “Dollhouse.” This may be a comfort to “Dollhouse” fans: Whedon shared that when season two opens, Echo (Eliza Dushku) will be deeply impacted by Alpha downloading all of her personalities into her at once, which means she’ll actually have a persona instead of being a passive blank slate. Although lacking a personality is central to being a “doll,” that feature made it nearly impossible for viewers to connect to Echo. When I brought that up during the session, Whedon acknowledged a major correction was due.

“We will see that she has a cohesiveness and a mission that make every engagement mean a great deal more to her and she has, as Echo, her own agenda which is something she didn’t quite have,” Whedon explained, “and we did sort of build to that in Omega where she had been dumped with all the personalities and we heard her say her name. At the end this episode we are going to see how far she’s come and it’s a little further than the people around her know.”

So, I asked to establish complete clarity, even after each episode’s wipe she is going to have a distinct personality?

“We are going to see her as we know her, and then we are going to see something very different,” Whedon said. “And that is pretty much all I can say.”

–After the main session Whedon confirmed to me and a few others that Alan Tudyk would be returning for several episodes over the course of season two. Whedon said he couldn’t confirm an exact number because Tudyk does not like to be pinned down in any particular series. To wit: He has a fairly substantial role in the pilot for ABC’s midseason series “V.” Whedon also hinted that this season would head outside of the main Dollhouse to, perhaps, visit other branches. Hmm….

– While walking out a Fox publicist dashed past and told us the big “Futurama” news we hope you already know, which is that all of the original cast had signed on for its resurrection.

Up next: CBS.

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John Lithgow. Courtesy of Wire Image/Dimitrios Kambouris.

When the TV news cameras come calling, people tend to describe any serial killers discovered to be living in their area as polite, private but personable, a guy seemingly incapable of hatcheting humans into ground chuck. No, not in a million years, they say, and to think all that was happening two doors down? Shocking.

That’s why it makes perfect sense for “Dexter’s” producers to have tapped the ever-so-pleasant John Lithgow to portray a man with the same grisly hobby as our favorite Miami Police Department blood-spatter analyst. Lithgow is set to appear in all 12 of season four’s episodes.

According to  Showtime’s press release, Lithgow will play Walter Simmons, “an unassuming, mild-mannered suburbanite who has been living a dual life as one of America’s most prolific and deadliest serial killers.  Dubbed the “Trinity Killer” because of his proclivity to kill in threes, he relocates to Miami after being tracked by F.B.I. Special Agent Frank Lundy (Keith Carradine).”

Naturally dear Dexter, a murderer who takes pride in his work, is bound to feel a special connection and fascination with Mr. Simmons.

One also wonders if the “trinity” business is part of a larger theme for season four, what with Dexter on the verge of fatherhood, and his dad’s spirit looming large in his thoughts. Father, son, unholy ghost…and the Trinity Killer? Can’t wait to see what happens.

“Dexter’s” fourth season kicks off on Sept. 27 on Showtime.

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Nathan Fillion stars in "Castle" (photo credit: ABC)

ABC held its upfront presentation this afternoon, introducing 11 new programs that will fill out the schedule alongside the network’s 17 returning series.

Four series that were considered to be on the bubble can now be counted among the returning shows:  “Castle“, “Better Off Ted“, “Scrubs” and “True Beauty“.

Items that stood out: Neither “Cupid” or “The Unusuals” were not mentioned at all, making it pretty safe to assume they will not be returning next year.  Christina Applegate’s “Samantha Who?” was previously announced as not returning.  “Ugly Betty” will be relocated from its prime Thursday real estate to make room for “Flash Forward”.

ABC led off their presentation by sharing the first act of new show “Flash Forward”, the Ralph Fiennes thriller/mystery centered on an mysterious event during which every person in the world blacks out, each seeing 2:17 of their future during that time.  The show creators came in with complete show bible, meaning that like “Lost“, the entire story has been created in advance, ensuring a defined roadmap for the future of the show’s story.

The pilot episode of the new Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd produced sit-com “Modern Family” was shown in its entirety, giving a first glance into the sort-of-scripted, sort-of-not feeling show that follows the dynamics of 3 families via faux-documentary footage and interviews.

Check out ABC’s fall schedule after the jump:

ABC’s fall primetime schedule is as follows (all times listed are Eastern):

DAY    TIME    SERIES

MONDAY:    8:00 p.m.     “Dancing with the Stars” (two-hours)
10:00 p.m.    “Castle”

TUESDAY:    8:00 p.m.    “Shark Tank”
9:00 p.m.    “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m.    “The Forgotten”

WEDNESDAY:    8:00 p.m.        “Hank”
8:30 p.m.    “The Middle”
9:00 p.m.    “Modern Family”
9:30 p.m.    “Cougar Town”
10:00 p.m.     “Eastwick”

THURSDAY:    8:00 p.m.    “Flash Forward”
9:00 p.m.    “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m.    “Private Practice”

FRIDAY:    8:00 p.m.    “Supernanny”
9:00 p.m.    “Ugly Betty”
10:00 p.m.    “20/20″

SATURDAY:    8:00 p.m.    “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY:    7:00 p.m.    “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m.    “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m.    “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m.    “Brothers & Sisters”

“The Bachelor” will air Monday nights from 8:00-10:00 p.m. following the run of “Dancing with the Stars,” and “Scrubs” and “Better Off Ted” will air at 9:00 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., respectively, following the run of “Dancing with the Stars The Results Show.”

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Chuck Bartowski has plenty of reasons to smile today.

A collective sigh of relief was heard ’round the (TV) world this morning, as NBC announced Tuesday morning that “Chuck” would be returning to their network next season. Crediting the strong support of fans and their participation in the Subway “Save Chuck” campaign, NBC revealed that Chuck Bartowski and friends will continue their special brand of fighting evil for at least 13 more episodes — which likely won’t reappear on screens until next spring, after the network’s Winter Olympics coverage has ended. “Chuck”’s return was also bolstered by a special sponsorship deal with Subway, which will involve a franchise being integrated into the show itself.

NBC followed the “Chuck” announcement with the release of their full schedule for next season, which will be split into two as a result of their aforementioned Olympics coverage. Of the other shows on the bubble, only “Law and Order” will be returning, with “My Name Is Earl” and “Medium“, and the much-beloved “Life” canceled.  Since “The Jay Leno Show” will be occupying an hour of the primetime line-up each night, the number of new shows premiering will be limited to “Trauma“, “Parenthood“,”Community”, “Mercy”,”Day One” and “The Marriage Ref”.

See a full breakdown of the split-in-two NBC season after the jump:

NBC FALL 2009 SCHEDULE
*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Heroes”
9-10 p.m.-”TRAUMA”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY
8-10 p.m. – “The Biggest Loser” (two-hour edition)
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. – “PARENTHOOD”
9-10 p.m. – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. – “SNL WEEKEND UPDATE THURSDAY” (multi-episode run)
8:30-9 p.m. – “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. – “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. – “COMMUNITY” (moves to Thursdays 8-8:30 p.m. after multi-episode run “30 Rock” returns)
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. – “Southland”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. – “TRAUMA” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY
7- 8:20 p.m. “Football Night in America”
8:20-11 p.m. “NBC Sunday Night Football”

NBC MID-SEASON 2010 SCHEDULE
(2010 WINTER OLYMPICS preempt regularly scheduled programming from February 12-28, 2010)

*New programs in UPPER CASE

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Chuck” (season premiere)
9-10 p.m. – “DAY ONE”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

TUESDAY
8-9:30 p.m. – “The Biggest Loser” (90-minute edition)
9:30-10 p.m. – “100 QUESTIONS”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. – “MERCY”
9-10 p.m. – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. – “COMMUNITY”
8:30-9 p.m. – “Parks and Recreation”
9- 9:30 p.m. – “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. – “30 Rock”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”
f
FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Law & Order”
9-10 p.m. – “Southland”
10-11 p.m. – “THE JAY LENO SHOW”

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Dateline NBC”
9-10 p.m. – “Southland” (encore broadcast)
10-11 p.m. – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (encore broadcast)

SUNDAY
7-8 p.m. – “Dateline NBC”
8-9 p.m. – “THE MARRIAGE REF”
9-11 p.m. – “The Celebrity Apprentice” (season premiere; two-hour edition)

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But for every pain, there is a balm…and for couch potatoes, it’s knowing that summertime brings its own special brand of boob tube crutches that make the living even easier.  Here are are few things we’ll be looking forward to, ranked in order of excitement level:

Jeffrey Donovan in "Burn Notice."

1. The return of USA’s “Burn Notice.” That would be at 9 PM ET/PT on June 4, less than a month away,  and if you have yet to discover this show, you’re missing out one of TV’s greatest pleasures. Action, comedy, a little romance — all of that (and Bruce Campbell too!)  makes the adventures of former spy/ current badass Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) a must-see on hot nights (and cold ones; the second half of this past season made midwinter bearable).

Last season ended with Michael jumping into the ocean from a helicopter in defiance of the shadowy organization that ruined his life.  We don’t yet know if the third season premiere picks up with him mid-swim, but it’s a safe bet that a few “Burn Notice” fans hope it will at least include a few shots of Donovan in a wet shirt.

2. The return of “True Blood” at 9 PM ET/PT on June 14, which we’re hoping also means the return of Lafayette Reynolds (Nelsan Ellis),  easily the most entertaining character on a show that grew from a guilty pleasure into an utter addiction over the course of its first season.  His loss would be a heartbreaker, but not a deal-breaker — the buzz about season two sounds too good to give this thing up.

3. A new season of  TNT’s “The Closer” kicks off at 9 PM ET/PT on June 8. Surely at some point we’ll tire of watching Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) frighten the living bejeesus out of perps in the interrogation room…but not yet.  Plus, she just got married, adding a new dynamic to her already complex personal life.

4. At long last, the return of “Project Runway“ at 10 PM ET/PT on August 20, this time on Lifetime.  So what if its final season on Bravo felt as if it had been phoned in from Valiumland? We’re still suckers for this series, especially after watching “The Fashion Show”…sorry, Bravo.

5. The live action episode of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” we repeat, the live action episode of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” with rapper T-Pain playing Frylock, actor Jon Benjamin portraying Master Shake, and contest winner Dave Long Jr. making his network television debut as their hairy, desperate neighbor Carl, will air on Adult Swim for the first of what is sure to be many, many times at 11:45 PM ET/PT on May 31.  Meatwad, by the way, will be played by the renowned character actor Exercise Ball.

6. Showtime’s “Weeds” kicks off its fifth season at 10 PM ET/PT on June 8, followed by the series launch of “Nurse Jackie“ at 10:30 ET/PT.  Granted, my “Weeds” buzz has worn off a touch, but the fourth season certainly did end in an interesting place. Plus, Jennifer Jason Leigh is set to appear in at least two episodes this summer playing Nancy Botwin’s (Mary-Louise Parker) sister Jill Price-Gray. As for “Nurse Jackie,” the pilot left a bit to be desired, but something in us is pulling for  Edie Falco to score a solid post-”Sopranos” hit.

7. The five-part miniseries “Torchwood: Children of Earth,” is due at some point this summer — June, we hear? — but BBC America still hasn’t announced a date.  Regardless, we can’t wait for the sci-fi swashbuckler’s return — Captain Jack Harness (John Barrowman) is one the most exciting heroes on TV at the moment, and the preview clip makes “Children of Earth” look like a cross between a souped up “X-Files” episode and “Village of the Damned.”

Others as-yet-unscheduled-but-traditionally summertime series we’re looking forward to?  AMC’s “Mad Men” and HBO’s “Entourage.”

8. A new season of VH1’s “Tool Academy” is up on August 2.  Some of you may be wondering why anyone would celebrate the continued existence of this program. The answer is…honestly, there is no 100 percent defensible answer, save that it may be the only series outside of Dr. Drew’s rehab franchise attempting to do the world a service: It is waging war against the d-baggery epidemic as opposed to perpetuating it.  And that must be encouraged.

9. Fresh episodes of Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance“ step out on Thursday, May 21. Even non-fans tune in to this show at some point over the summer because a.) it’s on twice a week; b) it’s a handsome combination of the two most successful unscripted behemoths on television; and c) in terms of reliability and entertainment value, this thing is to television what Japanese economy automobiles are to the world of cars: it gets us from point A to point B without requiring us to expend much energy in the process.

10. Finally, NBC premieres the limited series “Merlin“ on June 21. Will it be a smash-hit? We doubt it.  Will it be slightly goofy? You can pretty much count on that.  What would summer be without a little scripted cheese? Then again,  we should not not pooh-pooh this thing before it even airs — it features the excellent Anthony Stewart Head portraying Uther Pendragon. We’re always happy to see Giles on our TV screens.

Keep reading for a list of other summertime premiere dates…

May 18

“The Bachelorette,” 9 p.m. on ABC.

May 25

“Here Come the Newlyweds,” 10 p.m. on ABC

May 26

“Mental,” 9 p.m. on Fox

“Hitched or Ditched,” 9 p.m. on The CW

May 27

“Wipeout,” 8 p.m. on ABC

“The Goode Family,” 9 p.m. on ABC

June 1

“I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!” 8 p.m. on NBC.

June 4

“The Listener,” 10 p.m. on NBC

“Royal Pains,” 10 p.m. on USA

June 7

“Army Wives,” 10 p.m. on Lifetime

June 10

“Top Chef Masters,” 10 p.m. on Bravo

June 16

“Wedding Day,” 8 p.m. on TNT

“Hawthorne,” 9 p.m. on  TNT

“Saving Grace,” 10 p.m. TNT

“NYC Prep,” 11 p.m. on  Bravo

June 23

“America’s Got Talent,” 9 p.m. on NBC

June 24

“The Superstars,” 8 p.m. on ABC

“America’s Got Talent,” 9 p.m. on NBC

“The Philanthropist,” 10 pm. on NBC

July 7

“Blonde Charity Mafia,” 9 p.m. on The CW

“Warehouse 13,” 9 p.m. on SyFy

July 8

“I Survived a Japanese Game Show,” 8 p.m. on ABC

July 10

“Eureka,” 9 p.m. on SyFy

July 12

“Drop Dead Diva,” time TBA on Lifetime

July 15

“Leverage,” 9 p.m. on TNT

“Dark Blue,” 10 p.m. TNT

July 20

“Dating in the Dark,”  10 p.m. on ABC

July 21

“Hell’s Kitchen,” 8 p.m. on Fox

TBA

“Big Brother 10” on CBS

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Adventure brother: Will Ferrell joins Bear Grylls on "Man vs. Wild."

You’re welcome, America.

In a move that makes perfect sense in terms of corporate synergy but sounds absolutely ludicrous to the average person, Will Ferrell is joining  Bear Grylls on an upcoming “Man vs. Wild” special.

During the episode, which is set to air in early June on the Discovery Channel, Ferrell spends 48 hours frolicking with Grylls in the icy glacier ranges of northern Sweden. The pair will rappel down hundred foot frozen waterfalls and sleep in sub-zero temperatures.  Urine will be gulped and reindeer eyeballs shall be chomped. Yes. That’s going to happen.

The Discovery Channel press release even attributed the following quote to Ferrell: “To be able to participate in an episode of ‘Man vs. Wild’ was the thrill of a lifetime, even though I did get urine-drunk, which is sad.”

To ask why Ferrell, recently revealed by Parade magazine to have earned $31 million in 2008, would do such things is a perfectly valid question. Thanks to Discovery, we have the answer.

Can Ferrell keep up with Bear Grylls?

Ferrell’s latest movie “Land of the Lost” hits theaters on June 5. It’s a Universal Pictures movie, and Universal has a deal with Discovery Channel to create programming that ties into its film releases.  A recent “Cash Cab” episode was tied to “Frost/Nixon,” and last summer’s “Wanted” joined forces with “FutureWeapons.”  The hope is that the indelible memory of Ferrell ingesting horrible things will make you say, “Now that we know what that ‘Step Brothers’ guy is capable of, let’s round up the kids, head to the multiplex, and watch him survive in an undiscovered country filled with dinosaurs and monkey people. And hey — order popcorn with extra butter stuff. Mmm, mmm!”

Discovery is calling this episode “the most fully integrated to date” in its partnership with Universal, but methinks Ferrell got the short end of the stick here. There’s a huge difference between roughing it with a craft services table nearby and, well, that business mentioned above.

Are we going to watch? You bet.

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Eliza Dushku stars in Fox's "Dollhouse," Fridays at 9 ET/PT.

We want it to work. We drooled over the buzz…and yet, so many fans seem disappointed in Fox’s “Dollhouse.”  True, it has served up a weak brew in its initial episodes, and ratings aren’t what they should be (although last Friday’s numbers were up — a good sign). Even so, it’s a Joss Whedon series, and knowing that is enough to keep the faithful hanging on.  The man hasn’t broken our hearts yet, which is more than you can say of many TV auteurs.

Now Whedon wants to assure us that our patience will soon be rewarded. In a recent note to critics, he promised that this week’s episode, “Man on the Street,”  will increase the intensity. If that tease isn’t tasty enough for you, how about this — io9.com has pictures from the set of the actor rumored to be playing Echo’s mysterious nemesis Alpha. For that matter, he’s already listed in the credits for an upcoming episode on IMDb. So if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t click here, or here, or here.  Consider yourself warned.

Check out previous episodes on IMDb whenever you want, and discuss the series with other users on our message boards.

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